


Day 0

by emmsdibs



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, B occurs in Chapter 5, Blood, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Violence, another reveal fic yippee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmsdibs/pseuds/emmsdibs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't understand. And she couldn't do a thing to make them understand.</p><p>A run in with a villain leaves Marinette picking up the shattered pieces of her secret identity in a countdown since the day it all went to hell. Hell being disappointed parents, furious best friends, and a media frenzy. How do open wounds heal when they're constantly stretched to the max?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Summer

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the TRASH ZONE. you can join me and my beta bella in hell.

They didn't understand. And she couldn't do a thing to make them understand. Her parents were confused and disappointed. Her best friend was furious. Her partner in crime had gone AWOL. The public reacted to her accidental reveal in the worst way she could have imagined.

 

She remembered staring at her hands in her lap, shaking and trying not to sob as Alya screamed. That was Day 3. She had been lying right to her face for years. “Why don't you trust me?! How could you just lie to me?” There was nothing Alya hated more than a liar, especially when it came to her two favorite people. Which she had just found out was the same person. “For the love of god if you don't say anything in the next ten seconds, I'm walking out of here.” When she said nothing, she watched her friend deflate, anger turning to tears. “Have a nice life, Ladybug.” And she was gone.

 

Her parents were kind to her. They said they didn’t care, that they understood. But she still heard them talk to each other late at night.  She watched as they dodged camera after camera that wanted interviews, and tried to keep up with all the customers that wanted to “eat where Ladybug works!” They tried to leave her alone as much as they could, only trying to make sure she ate and drank. On Day 18, her dad came upstairs with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. With a broken voice, he asked, “Why?”

 

That night, Marinette broke again, curling into a ball of sobs and screams. Her dad came and held her. How was she supposed to explain she had only been trying to protect them? The last thing she wanted was people getting at her through her family. But the words never came.

 

She had never been so afraid. Afraid to leave the safety of her room, afraid to face the people she had disappointed, the people she had betrayed, and that fear chained her to her bed day and night. No one else tried to see her for a long time. That was fine. She didn't want anyone to see her. Eventually, the cameras stopped waiting outside the bakery for her to emerge. She had disappeared.

 

There were days that she wished that she had Tikki with her. That ever standing rock of guidance she had always had. The one person who knew every single secret and could always give her the best advice and encourage her with a smile more genuine than any other thing was capable of. But she didn’t deserve that friendship anymore, that’s what she told herself. That’s why she gave up the earrings in the first place, her little kwani disappearing along with them.

 

School was going to start again soon. Her final year. She was terrified of leaving her bed. Of seeing them. She wasn't strong enough anymore. She had lost the confidence that being Ladybug had given her.

 

One week before school began(Day 35), Adrien came to see her. He said that she hadn't answered any of his messages. Of course she hadn’t, she’d locked her phone away weeks ago. She let him sit next to her in silence as he held up a conversation with himself. Explaining what he had planned for the upcoming year. Talking about what was going on around Paris. The conversation turned to Ladybug and she started to shake again. Full of compliments, he said how brave she was and how kind. When he finally noticed the tears falling down her face, he choked on his words. After a moment of silence, he whispered, “I'm sorry.” Then he was gone.

 

That Monday came too soon. Her alarm too shrill and the sun too bright. When she silently rose and walked over to her mirror, she hated what she saw. Bags under her eyes and skin white as a ghost. She saw a liar and a fraud.  She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to watch herself cry again.

 

As she was leaving, her mom handed her a bag of croissants and offered a broken smile. Another piece of her glass heart shattered.

 

Across the street, the steps to the school were swarming with reporters. They were there for her. Ladybug’s first day of school. Despite her hanging head and her slow approach, they saw her. They flocked around her like flies to a carcass, yelling questions and pushing microphones and cameras into her face. Her eyes grew three sizes and her mouth opened and closed uselessly. Her heart racing and beginning to hyperventilate, she froze when a metal baton extended between her and the reporters. “Let's leave the little lady alone, huh?” They slowly began to back away. Her eyes met Chat Noir’s in a silent thanks as her hero appeared from nowhere, and she couldn't be more grateful. “Are you okay?” His voice was drowning in worry and she paused before shaking her head. He looked like she had stabbed him.

 

Marinette spoke for the first time in a long time, voice hoarse and staring. “I haven't seen you in awhile.”  _ Not since Day 0. _

 

“I know,” he averted his gaze to the floor and rubbed his neck awkwardly, “I'm sorry. I meant to come and see you.” His words burned her skin and threatened to set her heart on fire.

 

“I wish you had.”

 

The bell rang out overhead. “You should get to class, my Lady.” And then he ran. Her shoulders slumped forward as she hurriedly walked inside. The other students paid her no mind as she sprinted to the bathroom, only interested in getting to their homerooms. Her knuckles white as she gripped the sink to stay grounded, she once again found herself staring at the mirror.  _ How pathetic.  _ Splashing water on her ghostly face and taking a deep breath, she departed.

 

Nino was in her old seat, next to Alya. Neither of them looked her way as they continued to chat quietly. Adrien, looking like he had just ran a mile and then subsequently been hit by a bus, motioned to the seat next to him. Nino’s seat. She took it quietly and grabbed her tablet. Adrien didn't attempt to speak to her and that was fine.

 

The professor walked in, looking miserable with a coffee cup the size of a cauldron. He threw his bag onto his desk with a growl and ripped open the desk drawer to grab a marker. He scrawled something on the board that was too messy to read and turned to address the class.

 

“I am Monsieur Gagnon and I will be your homeroom instructor this year.” His voice was gruff and deep, matching his large and filled out stature. “It will take me a couple of weeks to learn your names so please be patient and don't move seats. Now, attendance…” He pulled out a misshapen pile of papers and began searching, leaving the students to begin chatting to themselves.

 

Marinette listened to the conversations around her with closed eyes, focusing on taking deep breaths. Chloé’s nasal voice stuck out from across the aisle, complaining to Sabrina loudly about how the hero she had been worshipping was nothing more than plain old nerdy Marinette. She heard Adrien mutter “bitch” to himself. She turned her head to him; why was he suddenly so protective? Why would he suddenly be making such an effort to talk to her?

 

Ladybug, that's why. Of course. What was she thinking.

 

Exclaiming an “Aha!” with a paper raised in his hand, the professor returned everyone's attention to himself. He took a deep breath and then exhaled before saying, “Adrien Agreste?” A small “present” rang out beside her and she was brought back to 2 years ago. Guess he learned his lesson.

 

She tuned out, staring at the unreadable words on the board. She was trying to remember the times before Day 0, before everything fell apart. She thought about how Marinette from just two months ago would nearly faint to hear that Adrien had saved a seat for her, that Adrien was insulting Chloé for her. She wished so badly to be that girl again, even for a moment, but she knew that was a lost cause.

 

Zoned out beyond hearing, she didn't notice her name being called once, and then again. With a smirk, Chloé called out “Ladybug!” and watched as Marinette’s head snapped to attention. The desk beside her erupted with laughter and the pressure built up behind her eyes. The professor had already moved on to the next name. Staring down at her lap, she felt her muscles turn to stone. She vaguely registered Adrien taking her hand under the table. No - not her hand. Ladybug’s hand.

 

The tears spilled over again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are super helpful and let me know what you guys are thinking for the story! chapter 2 should be up very, very soon. thank you : )  
> p.s. summaries are hard


	2. Day 42

Of all the times she had wished she was dead in the past 42 days, this was the most overwhelming. Adrien had yet to let go of her hand and her mind screamed in protest the entire class period. He was holding  _ Ladybug _ ’s hand. He was protecting  _ Ladybug _ . He asked to sit next to  _ Ladybug _ . He didn't give a damn about Marinette, he was just another boy who had fallen for her alter-ego. She tried desperately to get her hand to move, to pull away, but it didn't listen. It was too tired. She was too tired.

 

As the bell chimed again, the students rushed out of the room to their lunch break, leaving Marinette and the professor to slowly gather their things. “Marinette?” He asked in the silence.

 

She looked up. “Yes Monsieur?”

 

“I want you to know that I won’t allow the other students to bully you. You have protected the citizens of Paris countless times, it is only fair that I do my best to protect you.” His face was stern, and without giving her a chance to react, he left. She wasn't sure if she should be grateful or terrified.

 

Adrien was leaning against the railing outside the room, waiting for her.  _ Waiting for Ladybug.  _ His smile wasn't for her. His words weren't for her. Every crack hurt more. 

 

“Lunch?” He asked, extending his hand in an offer.

 

She felt like she was about to explode with a mix of anger, sadness, and frustration. It took everything in her power not to scream. “No.”

 

His face read surprise, which then morphed into confusion. He stepped toward her, and she stepped back on instinct. “W-what? I don't understand, Marine-”

 

“Stop.” She tried to sound commanding but she couldn't stop her voice from cracking. She couldn't take it. “I'm not Ladybug, not anymore. Ladybug doesn't exist. It's just me. Plain old me. So stop trying to convince yourself I'm Ladybug.” His jaw dropped, eyes searching her face for answers. “If all you want is Ladybug, then leave me alone.”

 

“Marinette, I-” Before he could finish, she turned on her heel and ran. She ran down the stairs and out the doors. She didn't stop running, pushing past the burn in her lungs and the ache in her legs. No matter how far she ran, it wouldn't be far enough. Not when her phone kept buzzing with Adrien’s face. Not when every single person stopped to look at her as she ran past. Not when there wasn't a single safe place left.

 

After eight tries, Adrien stopped calling. She finally collapsed onto the ground, embracing the grass beneath her. She didn't know where she was but it didn't matter. Anywhere was better than there.

 

She sat for hours. Just waiting. Not sure what she was waiting for, but she waited anyway. Past the time of afternoon classes starting. Past the time of her first failed day of school ending. Past the beginning of her shift at the bakery. And she still waited.

 

Eventually, she heard a hard landing behind her. She ignored it, hoping it was just her imagination. When he settled down beside her, she knew. Of course.

 

“How did you know?”  _ How did you know where I was, that I needed you, that I was lost, that you were the only one who could save me?  _ She refused to meet his gaze, knowing fully well that he was staring at her.

 

“I'll always find you, my Lady.” The nickname hit like a stab in the gut.

 

“Don't call me that. That's not who I am. Not anymore.” If she hadn't been so dehydrated, she probably would be crying again. How many god damn tears did she have?

 

He paused for a moment and took a deep breath, reaching behind him. “You could be.” He presented the brown box in his open palm. Just looking at it made her heart race. She could almost hear Tikki’s voice telling her to take it back, to just put her earrings back on. But she didn't want it. She had given the box to him on Day 0 and she didn't want it back. He held it there for a moment before dropping his hand to his lap. “Please Ladyb- Marinette. I need you.” Her heart ached. The words didn't come. He choked on what sounded like a sob.

 

“It's all my fault.” He was crying. “I should've protected you. I should have stopped you... I could have prevented this, all of this!” No, he couldn’t have. “I'm so, so sorry. It's all my fault, all my fault.” He collapsed into himself, shaking madly.

 

She was frozen. He really, genuinely blamed himself. It was irrational, it was stupid. He didn't make any sense.

 

Her voice was just above a whisper. “Chat… It's not your fault.”

 

“Yes it was,” he whispered back. “My job is to protect you. To take the hits for you and help you succeed. And I couldn't. I couldn't. Stop you. I wasn't fast enough or smart enough.”

 

Marinette followed her next instinct quickly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in the back of his neck. He wouldn't stop shaking.

 

“It was the akuma. It wasn't you. You were protecting the civilians when she got me. You were doing what you needed to do. And I don't blame you.” With her arms wrapped around her friend, her partner, she felt a peace that she hadn’t felt in 42 days.

 

He finally brought his face out of his hands, gripping the arm that was wrapped around him. “You’re right, Marinette. It was the akuma. It was Hawkmoth.” She didn’t like where this was going. “It isn’t your fault either. I know you would never do that.” He couldn’t know that. “It was the akuma.”

 

She pressed her face harder into his back, wanting to scream. Talking about it made it so much worse than just thinking about it. The only good thing about Chat never coming to visit her is that she never really had to relive that day again. No matter what stories the media told, they didn't truly know what had happened. Only the two of them knew. And she didn’t want to talk about it.

 

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She voiced aloud. He sighed audibly.

 

“I know you don’t want to. But we need to,” he gripped her tighter. “I can’t handle seeing you like this. I’m not strong enough.”

 

Bit by bit, her heart broke further. She didn’t know how much of a heart she had left. Just when she thought it was finally in pieces, she took another hit.

 

“I trust you more than anyone in the world,” he continued. “I trust you with my life and limb every time we step outside. I trust you with my identity, even if you’re not ready to know it yet. I trust you to save the day, every day. Either as Marinette or Ladybug. I can’t force you to take the earrings back.” He let the box fall to the grass, catching Marinette’s attention back from his neck. “But I don’t want you to be afraid. I won’t let Hawkmoth win.”

 

With her ear resting on his shoulder, she stared at the box on the ground. The box that held her once precious Miraculous, the link to her little kwani Tikki. The power that had allowed her to save countless people, that allowed her to become more confident and happy in her own skin. The power that caused her to hurt those people. It all seemed like it was so far away now, the memories distance and dreamlike. As if they had never really happened at all. 42 days felt like a lifetime.

 

Her arms finally released him, settling back onto the grass and staring at the small wooden box between them. “I thought the wounds would heal. But they’re only getting worse.” He stiffened beside her. “Today in school, I couldn’t move. I felt like I was frozen and everything else was moving around me. If I can’t even handle sitting in class, how am I supposed to handle being Ladybug?”

 

This time, he put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “You’ll find a way. You always do. That’s what I love about you.” The familiar touch relaxed her and, for what felt like the first time in awhile, she felt her body sigh in relief. She was safe here, in his arms. He would never let anything hurt her. This was where she belonged. Next to him. That feeling, that’s what she had been waiting for. Feeling safe.

 

The realization hit her like a freight train. With her head hanging, she asked the question that had been eating away at her. “Where were you?” His body tensed, the grip around her shoulders becoming almost painfully tight. “Why didn’t you come see me? You knew that I needed you and you just… Disappeared.” Although she hadn’t meant to, the words came out sad. Sad and disappointed.

 

“After I came to your balcony that night, I thought… You gave me your Miraculous and told me you didn’t want it back. I thought that meant that you... that we... that I was a part of that. And that you didn’t want to be Ladybug anymore. That’s what you said,” his words were rushed, like he only had seconds to explain before the world ended. “I thought that being with me was a part of being Ladybug. That Chat Noir was something else you just didn’t want anymore.” He took a deep breath, thinking on his next words for a moment. “I didn’t come because I thought you didn’t want me to. I thought you never wanted to see me again, after what I did. And I didn’t blame you.” His arm fell to his side and his shoulders slumped forward, as if he was suddenly brought back to that time and place in his life.

 

“But Chat, you didn’t do anything.” She lifted her head, angling toward him.

 

He deflated further. “That’s the point, Marinette. I didn’t do anything.” 

 

She shook her head slowly, trying to duck down so he would look at her. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You saved everyone, including me, from that akuma. The whole city would be zombies if it wasn’t for you. The only thing I blame you for is leaving me alone when I needed you the most. You were the only one who could have been there for me, and you weren’t.” She realized too late how harshly that came out, and she regretted it immediately. Her brain stumbling for an answer, she said, “so I guess you’ll just have to make it up to me now.”

 

He lifted his head to look at her, his eyes still wet with tears but a small smile pulling at the edge of his lips. “How do you suppose I do that?” There was a hint of play in his words, a tone she hadn’t heard from him in a while. A half hearted quirk of his eyebrow and a smile broke out across both their faces. His, a grin that he reserved just for ridiculous moments like this, and hers, a smile of relief and completeness. They both knew that conversation wasn’t finished, but now wasn’t the time. Now, they were together again.

 

With a blush, she replied, “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” He dramatically swooned, a hand against his forehead as he tipped back so far she reached out to catch him. They both fell on their backs and began to laugh. They laughed like they had just been told the best joke of their lives, arms clenching at their stomachs as they slightly rolled with it. The light heartedness of the moment they had needed washed over them like a wave. The laughter began to fade, but the smiles didn’t. Their shoulders brushing together, quietly laying next to each other on the grass with a feeling of weightlessness. 

 

“I wish you could always be by my side,” she said softly, not realizing that she had said it out loud and that he had heard her. He turned his head to look at her.

 

“I can be.”

 

Her eyes widened again, finally meeting his gaze. He was so genuine, so caring, so kind. This stupid, goofy cat who had fallen so in love with her and was willing to take so many hits for her that she had stopped counting. The one that always let himself be bait while she worked out a plan. The one that had wanted to meet her from the very beginning, both sides of her. The one that insisted that no matter what was under that mask, he would still love her just as much. The one that brought her back on Day 0.

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

 

“Then I won’t do it,” he shrugged and looked back to the sky, even though he did look a bit crestfallen.

 

“What if the public finds out? They won’t ever leave you alone.” She thought back to the days of her doorbell ringing nonstop and felt her throat tighten.

 

He grinned at her, “with a face like this, I wouldn’t blame them.” She gave him a stern look. “I’ll take whatever they throw at me, as long as I am by your side.” His smile was genuine, so happy and so free, as if he was invincible so long as he was with her. She took his right hand, bringing it closer to her face and rubbing her thumb along the ring with the neon green paw print. The one he was now proposing he took off. This ring had been a part of his life as long as she had, and without it none of this would have ever happened. He would never trust anyone with it more than her. She wriggled it back and forth, as if testing how it fit on his finger. Her hands were sweating and he could hear her breathing in and out through her mouth. He began to sit up, using her grip on his hand to bring her up with him. With a small smile, he reassured her, “I won’t pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.”

 

The kindness returned and she found it hard to not smile. She hadn’t smiled a lot in the last 42 days, the feeling seemed foreign. His hand gripped hers, bringing her eyes back up to his.

 

“I could never be Ladybug without you, and I don’t want to,” she took the box in her other hand and gripped it tight.

 

He took his other hand and enclosed it around the box, smothering hers in his. She looked at the strange way the tears had moved along the leather mask and studied the way his eyes looked, almost as if he really were a cat. Normally, she would have rejected his touch, playing it off as some kind of joke. Never letting him hold her too close. But over the time he had been gone, she had come to a sudden realization. Out of all the things she missed, all the things she wanted back, he was all she wanted. Her best friend back.

 

“Maybe just for me. No one else has to know. Not like me. You should keep your secret.”

 

The realization hitting him of what she was saying, he smiled wide and moved to sit in front of her. The loss of connection jarred her, but she sat up straighter as he giddily placed himself before her. “Last chance,” he reminded her, bringing his hand up to flick the black ear on his head. She scanned the area around them, thinking this wasn’t the best time or place and that they should be more careful. Her mind came up with a thousand excuses to put this off, to go another few hours or days or weeks without knowing who was behind the black mask. Instead, she pursed her lips together tight and gave him a nod. He took that as permission.

 

With a travelling light, his black suit melted away and was replaced with jeans, then a t-shirt and jacket. Marinette held her breath as the light made its way over his face, and then disappeared.

  
Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the kudos and comments <3 they really made me smile. as for day 0, it is written (i wrote it before everything else) and youll get it when i feel you have suffered enough. although this chapter has slightly less suffering...


	3. Victoria

If it was physically possible for the pounding of his heart to break his ribs, Adrien was absolutely positive it would’ve happened at this moment. Maybe he would be the first official case of Heart-Breaking-Out-Of-Chest Syndrome in the whole world. With each second of watching Marinette sit frozen, her eyes wide and breathing shallow, he felt he was another second closer to a very untimely death. A death laced with people being disappointed in him while his own self confidence plummeted. Silence was definitely not the reaction that he wanted when he had done this. Silence forced him to start imagining what was going on inside her head and his imagination was supplying him with nothing but horrible thoughts. About how she was upset and disappointed and now regretting everything that had ever happened between them.

 

Meanwhile, in stark contrast to Adrien’s metered panic, Marinette’s brain was entirely composed of unintelligible screaming, 80% of which she couldn’t even make out to herself and was most likely just jumbled vowels with scattered consonants to mix things up. Her thought process was in such a whirlwind panic that there was very little actual processing going on about the transformation she had just witnessed. She realized that she should probably say something, anything really, but she currently didn’t have a grasp on any language or even meaningful hand motion. So instead, she stared like a deer in headlights while her mind raged like a storm.

 

They were in a standoff. Each panicking internally with no end in sight while their bodies just stiffly looked at each other. Adrien prayed for some kind of miracle while Marinette wondered if it was possible to actually become a puddle and dissolve into the ground. In fact, if it hadn’t have been for the loud car horn suddenly going off just down the street, they probably would have sat there staring until they both turned to stone. They both jumped at the sudden sound, looking back and forth between the other and the street.

 

Their hearts began to slow, thankful for the sudden jolt breaking them out of whatever limbo they had both been stuck in. Taking a slow, deep breath, Marinette resolved to actually say something.

 

“So Adrien Agreste, huh?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she slapped her own forehead, lamenting her stupidity. _Of everything you could’ve said…_

 

He smiled softly, trying not to laugh at her sudden distress. “That’s me. Adrien.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking off to the side.

 

“Well, that uh,” she looked up at him again, struggling to come up with something to say. “That would explain why we both have terrible attendance at school?” She offered, her shoulders rising in a shrug while she smiled awkwardly.

 

This time he did chuckle, looking at her again, “I guess that would explain it.” He smiled warmly, and the action seemed to put her at ease a bit. “That would also explain why they accused us of always skipping class together last year.”

 

She giggled, remembering how horrified she had been to be called into the principal's office with Adrien. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack and get expelled that day,” she laughed off the end of her sentence, the tension that she had in her muscles beginning to settle.

 

“Oh, I remember,” he teased, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get that red before.” She glared at him with a small smile, his hands flying up in surrender just at the sight of it.

 

The silence took over again as they slowly stood, both cautiously eyeing the other. Despite the inevitability of their discovery, they also never thought that it would end up this way. They shared a lingering gaze of amazement that they were actually there, standing in a park together. Adrien and Marinette. Ladybug and Chat Noir. All at once.

 

Now, they were left with a question. A question that they both wanted to know the answer to. “Now what?” They spoke in unison, and then both began to laugh. It was so damn cheesy that they couldn’t help themselves. Everything had turned out so different than both of them had expected, but they weren’t disappointed. In fact, they were happy. It was a relief that they both really needed, and that weight being lifted off their shoulders really did wonders for the spirit. The only part they couldn’t appreciate was the event that caused this big reveal.

 

Marinette froze again, thinking back to their current situation. She was in a park that she didn’t recognize, in a city that knew her secret identity, and she was terrified of rejoining the world. So terrified, in fact, she had run away from all of her responsibilities and probably left her parents very upset with her. Pushing the thought out of her head for the moment, she rubbed her arm awkwardly. “How about a cup of tea?” She asked slowly, looking hopeful. “Just so we can, you know, talk.”

 

A smile grew on his face and he watched her nerves physically melt away in response to it. “That sounds like a great idea.”

 

Their walk was relatively quiet, but it wasn’t awkward or unnerving. The silence between them was comfortable and familiar. They knew they had a lot of really important things to talk about but right now they were just taking a walk. In fact, it would’ve been perfect if not for a desperate and disarrayed looking woman sprinting up to them out of nowhere. Marinette wondered if she had been chased to them by a wild animal.

 

“Ladybug,” The woman was panting. Marinette began to pale as she spoke to her. “My name is Victoria Baenen and I’m a reporter with Paris Match. I know you’ve been approached a lot recently but-”

 

Adrien extended his arm between them, much how Chat Noir had done just earlier this morning. His protective instincts took over. “Now isn’t really the best time.”

 

Victoria looked like she was about to have a heart attack. “I know it’s just that I’m desperate and if you could just give me a couple of sentences on what happened June 3rd you could save my career.”

 

Marinette’s face scrunched up in pain, taking a deep breath before replying. “No, I will not give any interviews on the events of June 3rd.” There was a bite to her words, one she normally only used with Chloe.

 

“Please,” the reporter was clearly trying to hold back tears, “I’m begging you.”

 

“No.” Marinette reaffirmed her statement with a defensive cross of her arms. “Now, please leave me alone.” She quickly sidestepped the girl and took off in a hurried walk down the sidewalk, hoping Adrien would follow after her. It made her feel terrible that she couldn’t help that girl, but she just couldn’t talk about that day. She didn't want anyone to know the details of what happened.

 

Adrien, with a small jog, caught up and settled back beside her in her hurry. “I’m sorry about that,” he murmured. “I wish I could do more to keep them away.”

 

“It’s fine,” she said through gritted teeth. Then they returned to silence. But this time, it was a lot more uncomfortable and tense.

 

Adrien stopped suddenly, catching her arm. Her head whipped around as he spoke. “Marinette, look…” He pointed across the street, his hand following something. Her eyes traced the line and movement caught her eye, a flash of black and purple fluttered quickly down the street. “An akuma.”

 

The little butterfly hurried the opposite direction, headed back for the direction they had come. They both stood frozen for a moment, mind spinning for what action they should take. “Victoria!” He yelled, dashing down the street and yelling for her. Marinette chased after him, her feet pounding on the pavement as they rushed to stop what was about to happen. “Victoria stop!” The girl came into view, still frozen in the middle of the sidewalk. She turned toward them, tears in her eyes and down her cheeks, pain covering her face. Just as she realized they were yelling out to her, the akuma latched onto her notebook and then disappeared, the book turning black.

 

Both of the heroes stopped short, watching as Victoria shifted and then became engulfed in purple.

  
Then, they turned and ran like hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your support! it really makes me happy <3


	4. Back in Red

In a dark alley they managed to find about three blocks away, Marinette watched in awe as Adrien transformed back into Chat Noir right in front of her. Her breathing began to get faster as she stared down at the earrings she cradled in her palm. She hadn’t thought that she would be back in this situation again and she didn’t want to be in it. She felt like the jewelry was burning her, and she didn’t know if it was because she wanted them on her ears or in the dumpster. She hadn’t realized she had begun to shake and hyperventilate until Adrien placed a steady hand on her shoulder. Her eyes met his and he gave her a small smile. “It’s okay to be scared. I would be too.” She focused on trying to take a deep breath. “I know you can do this.”

 

He was so genuine, so kind, and he really, truly believed in her. He was offering to be her crutch. 

 

“Please don’t leave me alone.” Her voice was small and it broke his heart.

 

“Never, my Lady.” His reassurance was all she needed.

 

Marinette gripped the earrings tight between her fingers and brought them up. They pressed in easy and the swirl of red appeared before her, before exploding into a puff of sparkles. Tikki gasped, flying forward to get closer to her face. “Marinette! I was so worried. I missed you.”

 

She felt her heart clench and she swallowed hard around the lump in her throat. “I missed you too, Tikki.” With a smile, she raised her hands up and cupped the kwani to hold her close. They shared a much needed moment before being interrupted by a not-so-subtle throat clear to their right. Chat gave her a look, attempting to bring her back to the reality at hand. “We can talk more later,” Marinette promised, trying to steel herself for what was about to happen, “right now, we have an akuma to purify.” Tikki nodded, a determined look gracing her face. “Tikki, transform me.”

 

The feeling was familiar but strange. Marinette had spent almost two months trying to forget everything about being Ladybug. Now, the warm magic that covered her body felt alien. It hadn’t even been that long.

 

“Welcome back, my Lady.” He bowed before her, dipping low with a hand placed on his chest. Trying to calm her racing heart, she laughed at him and pushed him lightly.

 

“Don’t be silly, kitty.” Her voice sounded different to her own ears. She tried to naturally play the part again, just as she had before. But it just didn’t feel right. She shook the feeling off like a leaf. “We have a job to do.”

 

A nod in agreement and he grasped the staff at his back. “Indeed.” She grabbed her yoyo from her hip with shaky hands and rolled it at her side, pulling it back up and gripping it tight.

 

They both propelled themselves up to the roof and began their search, trying to find any sign of an akuma in the surrounding area. When they came up with nothing, she caught his eye and motioned to move to higher ground. With a nod of agreement, they bounded off in separate paths to a much taller building nearby. They arrived at the same time, taking different directions to circle the edge of the roof. They couldn’t find a single thing out of place. “Where is she?” Chat muttered to himself across the roof, just loud enough for her to hear.

 

Marinette sighed, her gloved hand rising to rub her forehead. “Well, she wants to get to me. So we just have to let her know where I am.” Chat gave her a worried look, his hands wringing together to get out some of his nervous energy.

 

“So what’s your plan, Bug?” He asked as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to think of something. All she heard was the sound of the harsh beating of her own heart in her ears. No ideas came to her, no cunning plan. She could’ve waited seconds or waited hours, but that part of her mind was covered in a layer of dust that made it untouchable. She felt herself beginning to panic and looked at Adrien with wide eyes that begged for help.

 

“I can’t think of anything,” she squeaked. “Chat, I can’t think of anything.” Her eyes flicked down to stare at her shaking hands, not knowing that he began to approach her. His arms wound their way around her shoulders and pressed her against him.

 

“Take a deep breath, Marinette.” She inhaled deeply at the sound of her name leaving his lips. “You can do this.”

 

Her mind repeated what he said in a desperate mantra as she attempted to calm her breathing, her lower face pressed into his shoulder. An idea came to her.

 

Her arms pushed him away roughly, her hands gripping tight to his biceps while he was left looking bewildered. “Do you remember when Juleka was akumatized? We went to the TV station, went live to all of Paris with a fake plan so she would know exactly where to find us.”

 

A smile lit up his face and his eyes seemed to sparkle at her. “A brilliant plan, my Lady.” She bowed her head in a playful thank you, her smile returning to her at the sudden burst of pride. They both made a break for the building, taking parallel paths downtown.

 

As they began to approach the building, the grey clouds around them started to thicken and cover the sky. Feeling the first few raindrops of the coming storm, they both quickened their pace, barely making it through the doors as the sky opened up above them and began its torment. The receptionist gasped when they walked in, her eyes wide. “Ladybug?” She asked carefully, biting her lip in worry.

 

Marinette tried hard to ignore how the girl was looking at her, as if she was some kind of ghost. “I need to go live to Paris, there is an villain and that should be the best way to get her where we need her.” The girl began to pale, eyes looking over the desk she was standing in front of her as if it had the answers.

 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…” Marinette’s heart dropped when the words reached her, her fists clenching shut. They didn’t trust her anymore. She was trying to save people and they didn’t trust her enough to do it anymore. The people of Paris had lost their faith that she could save the day. As tears tried to push their way out of her eyes, she turned on her heel and ran outside into the rain. Adrien was right on her tail, catching his hand on her shoulder to stop her hurried escape. She wouldn’t look at him despite his attempt to turn her.

 

“They don’t trust me anymore. They don’t believe in me.” Her voice cracked, the tears making their way forward as they mixed with the rain falling on her face. “After everything I did...” She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and looked at the puddles forming around her. “After that, I don’t blame them.”

 

He jumped in front of her, placing a clawed finger beneath her chin and forcing her head up. “You have to stop blaming yourself, Marinette. It wasn’t you.”

 

For the hundredth time, she felt a sob force its way out of her as she looked back and forth between the green eyes. “You keep saying that. It was still my hands that did it. That makes me responsible.”

 

“It may have been your hands, but it wasn’t your choice.” He sounded exasperated with her and it hit right where it hurts. “Blaming yourself for that is like blaming me for all those times I’ve tried to hurt you or take your Miraculous while under an akuma’s control. And if all those things were really my fault… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” His voice trailed off as his hands moved to grip her shoulders. She opened her mouth in an attempt to speak but he cut her off, “if you dare say the situations are different, we’re going to have to get your head checked out.” She shut her mouth into a tight line, water falling in a steady stream from the tip of her nose. Looking down at her, drenched to the skin, a small smile came to his face. “Do you remember the day after I first came to school, when I finally managed to apologize for what happened with Chloe?”

 

The corners of her lips turned up in a small smile. She remembered that day very, very clearly. “It was raining… You gave me your umbrella.” The smile grew; she remembered how she had fallen head over heels for him that day, for Adrien. He had been so kind and so honest to her that it made her heart race. “I think about that day a lot,” she admitted shyly, her eyes leaving his for a moment.

 

The cheesy grin that lit up his face was a sight she wanted to see always, for the rest of her life. “I do too,” her eyes met his again, both of them looking a bit embarrassed. Marinette suddenly became aware of just how close they had gotten and she felt her face burn. He seemed to become aware of it too, his eyes widening as the water continued to cascade down them. Both watching the other intently, Adrien slowly willed himself to lean his head down toward her. She could feel his breath on her face and her heart started to beat out of her chest as she slowly rolled onto the balls of her feet, her heels lifting off the ground. His hand moved from her shoulder to her cheek, thumb rubbing a small circle into the skin as they got closer. 

 

“Although I hate to ruin such a beautiful moment, I believe we have some business to attend to.” The two heroes jumped away from each other, spinning their heads around to see where the female voice had come from. When they saw no one, they looked back to the other, each asking the silent question of ‘Am I crazy?’ The voice suddenly sounded right in Marinette’s ear, whispering, “you owe me an explanation.” She jumped forward, instinctively pulling out her yoyo and sending it spinning.

 

“What?” Chat asked, moving into a defensive stance beside her, “what happened?”

 

In front of them, they noticed the shadow of a human standing in the rain. “Come now, let’s not overreact.” The shadow began to move, and they both tracked it as they turned back to back. “I just want to talk.”

 

“We’re not here to talk,” Chat pulled out his baton and extended it, gripping it tight in both hands, “we’re here to stop you.”

 

“No.” The voice commanded, the figure flashing into a physical form before turning to a shadow again. “We stop when you admit what you did on June 3rd.”

 

Marinette grinded her teeth together, her eyes narrowing in the direction of the shadow. “There is nothing to admit.”

 

“Shut up!” The figure flashed again, maintaining its physical form for a bit longer this time. “If you have nothing to admit, then what happened to Mr. Dupree?”

 

The name hung in the air like a weight suspended by a string. “How do you know that name?” Marinette’s voice was soft as she physically deflated, taking a step back.

  
The shadow began to laugh, the sound echoing down the empty streets and piercing through the rain. “Why don’t you tell me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Day 0!!! Who is hyped I'm hyped also this chapter was unbeta'd so I tried.


	5. Day Zero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is kids, the one you've all been waiting for. please pay attention to the new additional tags if you get squeamish

It was noon on a Friday and, as most teenagers during summer vacation are, Marinette was sound asleep in bed. She had been up late the night before kicking ass and taking names in Mecha Strike 3 while simultaneously designing a sweater that would be KILLER this winter. As much as she loved pastels, this rich maroon was going to look awesome, especially when maroon was definitely the color of the year.

 

But now Tikki, desperately trying to wake her up, was squealing at a high pitch and jumping on her shoulder. The girl groaned, opening one eye and peering back at the kwani. “What is it Tikki? I’m trying to sleep…”

 

“Marinette,” the little ladybug kwami’s tone was serious as she sat down on her shoulder and got closer to Mari’s open eye, “there’s something going on outside and you need to get up! It could be an akuma!” Marinette rose slowly, rubbing her eyes hard with the heel of her palms.

 

“Tikki, it’s probably nothing. It’s probably just some kids playing and-” She cut herself off when the sunlight coming in from her window suddenly disappeared, leaving her room in darkness. Carefully jumping down from the upper level of her loft, she ran up to the window and tried to search for any sign of what had happened. There wasn’t much she could see, only basic outlines and shapes slightly illuminated by house windows. What had been a sunny Parisian day moments before was now darker than night. Marinette looked up to the sky to where the sun should have been shining brightly only to see pitch black, as if the city had been covered by a thick black fabric. There were a few people in the street hanging desperately to the buildings and street posts, using their smartphones’ flashlights to try and find their way around. They were panicked and yelling, and Marinette felt that click in her brain that told her she had to fix this.

 

Standing tall with a determined look and turning to the little bug flying beside her, she nodded. “Tikki, transform me!”

 

The familiar rush of magic overtook her, sending her heart soaring and adrenaline rushing through her veins. With a practiced and almost involuntary motion, she felt her clothes fade away and the suit slip on. It fit like a hand sewed glove (better than any glove she could’ve made, because gloves are really hard to sew) and she flexed her muscles beneath the spandex. Almost lost in the feeling, she registered her mom calling to see if she was okay, indicating it was her time to leave. She hopped up the steps two at a time and lept out her trapdoor, closing it softly behind her.

 

Once she was outside, she couldn’t see a thing. Holding her hand in front of her face was useless and so was trying to see where her potted plant was before she tripped on it. Her yoyo made a sound at her hip so she whipped it out, watching Chat Noir’s face illuminate the screen.

 

“I might not be able to see your face, but I’m sure you look just as radiant as always, my Lady.” He must of been inside somewhere, because there was enough light for her to see his face, although the shadows suggested the light was coming from above him. He was smirking and leaning back against something.

 

Marinette rolled her eyes, “I thought you had night vision.”

 

“Not through a camera phone,” he teased, poking the screen.

 

“Very funny,” she scowled before looking around again. “So, kitty, who turned the lights off?”

 

He chuckled, looking above him and then back down at the communicator. “I can’t tell you their life story yet, but our akuma victim is making quite a scene under the Eiffel Tower.” Her eyes flicked north and… The Eiffel Tower was illuminated in the middle of the day? “They’re yelling about getting good lighting for their photoshoot.”

 

“I’ll be there in 3.”

 

The communicator snapped closed and she took a deep breath. Relying wholly on her instincts, she whipped her yoyo out and went sailing. She hoped she had trekked the path from her balcony to the Eiffel Tower often enough to have a vague idea of which turns to take. For having just gotten out of bed and also traversing in the dark, she was pretty impressed with herself for only tripping five times and falling once. At least no one could see it.

 

The base of the Eiffel Tower was already roped off, swarming with police and reporters. She couldn’t see much damage, other than the group of civilians beneath it, staring upward. Ignoring the cheers as she approached, she followed hundreds of eyes up the bright structure and to the first landing, where a woman in a gaudy outfit was cackling madly. She certainly wasn’t trying to hide. As Ladybug whipped her yoyo out to find the lip of the platform and pulled, she noticed a black figure dancing around there as people tried to grab at it. Getting to higher ground, she rolled her yoyo out and threw it towards Chat, tripping up some of the people chasing him.

 

“Chat!” He flashed her a smirk before  _ cat _ apulting around a pillar to get up to where she was. “What’s going on with all of these people?”

 

“She keeps calling them her assistants,” he murmurs, his tone getting serious.  The two watched as the assistants returned to swarm around her. “Some kind of photographer… Oh crap.” He pointed to a second group that was carrying a screaming and well-dressed man toward the akuma victim. She began to cackle again at the sight of him.

 

“Finally, my assistants! Mr. Dupree is about to model his final shot for the Photographer!” She reached out toward them as the small mob approached slowly. With a nod at each other, Chat Noir and Ladybug both leap into action. With her yoyo wrapped around a pipe above her, she swung down, aiming straight for the Photographer. Mid-swing, she noticed that Chat had managed to free the man from the assistants’ hold in record time. Marinette smiled for a moment, grateful that this would all be over soon so she could get that last bit of sleep she still needed. But then Chat screamed, “Ladybug, stop!” The villain raised her hand and aimed her palm straight toward Marinette, who gasped and dropped off her swing in an attempt to evade the attack. Hitting the ground hard, she rolled to a stop with her yoyo held tight to her.

 

The next few moments happened in slow motion. She watched as the villain stepped in front of her. Her eyes rolled up until she spotted the hand right in front of her face, the Photographer’s smile behind it. Chat’s desperate scream of “No!” was the last thing she heard before the world started to fade.

 

All she could feel was the sensation of a vacuum sucking her backwards. Except it wasn’t her body moving, it was her thoughts and movements being pulled into a vortex. Every nerve was being pulled out of body and being replaced by something else. Chat’s screams became muffled, and distorted. She was being pulled back into a dark room until she was only looking through a window. A window that seemed too far away for her to reach and left her with a warped view of the world around her. Her body took a step forward and she tried to yell, beginning to panic. Now, she was the puppet.

 

“Now Ladybug, bring Mr. Dupree to me.” Her head nodded, and she turned on her heel, facing Chat Noir with a snarl. He was staring at her with wide eyes, not paying attention as both she and a group of assistants began to move in on him. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him to get the man out of there, to run away. But she couldn’t do a thing. She was a prisoner in her own body and no matter how hard she kicked and screamed, she wasn’t going anywhere. All Marinette could do was watch as the Photographer controlled her every move. As the assistants grabbed a hold of Chat, her hand extended and grabbed the arm of Mr. Dupree, spinning him toward her.

 

“Wait, no! Ladybug! Fight her control!” She could hear her partner screaming and she tried desperately to reply. He was suddenly cut off by fighting that she couldn’t see. Her body was dragging the man forward, ignoring his pleas for help and presenting him to his hunter.

 

“Now,” she smiled wickedly, “I think Ladybug should have the pleasure.”

 

Her yoyo rolled to her side, jumping up and down excitedly. Her head nodded and she screamed in horror as the weapon swung out and then back toward her, wrapping the wire around the man’s neck. Her heart stopped. She had to get back in control before-

 

“I'm sure you'll find it hard to be the ‘head’ photographer without one, you pompous prick. Punish him!”

 

Her leg lifted and pressed firmly against the middle of his back. He began to choke and tried to yell, trying to grasp at the wire wrapped around his neck. With a firm grip on her yoyo, her leg pushed and her arm pulled.

 

All she saw was red. Hot, blinding red. The unbreakable wire sliced right through the delicate skin and then continued back with more resistance as the wire met muscle and bone. His yells turned to gasps and gurgles. The Photographer shrieked with laughter as he clawed uselessly at his throat, laughing all the way until his moves started to falter. He dropped to his knees at her feet, and then pitched forward.

 

Marinette’s hands released the yoyo and the man fell to the ground with a slap, landing in a pool of his own blood. Face down on the floor, it was easy to see he was no longer breathing.

 

While Ladybug waited on her next order, Marinette screamed. Everything in and around her had halted to a violent stop coated in red. Her thoughts were racing at the speed of a freight train that was on a collision course to a terrifying ending. That man had died by her hands. She had taken his life. He was dead because of her. Her suit was covered in his blood and she wanted to tear her skin off.

 

“Now that that's out of the way,” the Photographer clasped her hands together giddily, “time for the Miraculous, darling.” Her hands reached up to her ears and Marinette kicked and screamed from the inside. This couldn’t happen, especially not now.

 

“Wait.” A pause. “Let's make this a show, shall we?” She grinned devilishly. Ladybug turned on her heel and jumped, skydiving head first off the Eiffel Tower and toward the crowd gathered below. Her yoyo wrapped around one of the iron beams high above her, she landed softly on the ground and positioned herself in plain view. Marinette prayed that someone in the crowd would somehow stop what was about to happen. But she knew that even if one of them could, most of them didn't want to. Their curiosity was winning out over their morals. 

 

Some people gasped as she reached up toward her ears, others standing in stunned silence. They pushed forward but the police held them back, all watching in horrified awe at the scene before them. Her fingers gripped at the small circles and, without hesitation, removed them.

 

Her suit melted away in a flash of light and the cameras all came out. One earring in each hand, Marinette’s body presented itself with her arms outstretched. The crowd was screaming and crying, taking pictures and videos. The secret was out. Ladybug was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

 

Suddenly, the screech of metal on metal sounded above them. It was deafeningly loud and the crowd screamed with horror as they began pointing upward. Without warning, Marinette was thrown back into control of her body with such force that she pitched forward. She looked around wildly before settling down at the Miraculous in her hands. Tears began to well in her eyes. Everything she had been trying to prevent, everyone she had been trying to protect. It was all over.

 

More crashes rang out from above and the crowd began to run, scattering as debris from the breaking tower began to rain down around them. She felt an arm wrap around her waist and her heart stopped, instincts telling her to push away. The arm held tight as Marinette felt her feet leave the ground. Suddenly realizing how familiar the arm around her felt, she grasped for another point of security, her arms wrapping around the leather clad hero. In her human form, she was at his mercy.

 

The baton began to sway and she barely registered him instructing her to get on his back. Using her grip on his shoulders, she swung around, wrapping her legs around his torso and clamping down on him. With her arms wrapped tight around him, she became aware of the earrings stabbing into her fist and she held them tighter, the sharp pain keeping her grounded. Her face hidden in his neck, she felt them tip forward and then he was climbing the tower with her in tow. As if she was nothing at all.

 

_ Marinette _ was nothing.

 

She screamed and felt him jolt, almost missing a step but continuing onward and upward. Her nails dug into the leather and the sobs tore through her. It was all over. 

 

He jumped over a railing and landed on a platform, setting her down in front of him after wriggling out of the vice-like grip of her limbs.

 

“You have to hurry, we don’t have much time.” Chat’s voice was panicked and his posture was fully charged as she opened her eyes, pausing to take in the scene around her.

 

The Photographer was attempting to free herself from a large pile of debris, cursing Chat Noir and all of Paris. Around her, people were crying and screaming. The former assistants had been freed from their hold just as she had and were now terrified, most of them injured by the scattered wreckage. A group of people had gathered around the body on the ground. The one Ladybug had mangled.

 

Time stopped. Chat maintained a firm grasp on her wrist as her eyes darted around, her vision slowly narrowing. Her breathing came in short gasps and her heart pounded erratically. She did this.

 

Claws dug into her skin, probably drawing blood, as he spun her around to face him. “Ladybug, listen to me!” His broken voice and tearing eyes entered her frozen world. “You need to transform, use your Lucky Charm, and fix this.” The side of his lip was cracked like he’d been hit, a trail of blood on his skin. She had failed him too.

 

“It’s over,” her voice came out as a whisper and the tears streamed endlessly down her cheeks.

 

Gloved hands suddenly gripped her shoulders and held tight, grounding her from her internal spiral.

 

“Marinette,” she flinched at the name. “Paris needs you. I need you.” The screeching from the Photographer began to grow louder. “Please-” His voice grew to a yell as his attempt to stay calm dissolved into desperation, and he shook her roughly. “Please help me!”

 

Tikki flies out of the purse at her side and begins trying to convince her that he was right but she couldn’t process the words. All Marinette could really see was Tikki’s eyes nervously looking around at the pain that surrounded them. She lets her eyes lock with the kwani’s, who gives her a firm and decisive nod.

 

She opens her fists, presenting the earrings. The tips were wet with blood, her palms littered with imprints and a few open wounds from her grip on the jewelry. Tears fall from her eyes as she raises her shaking hands to Chat, who looks back and forth between them and her. He gingerly takes them from her hands and rolls them a few times between his fingers. Although hesitant, he moves closer to her and she closes her eyes, jumping when she feels cold fingers press even colder metal into her earlobes.

 

As she hears him step away from her, she takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. “Tikki,” her voice is hoarse, “transform me.”

 

The next few minutes don’t feel real. With the Photographer still trapped beneath the debris of the Eiffel Tower, Marinette has no trouble summoning her Lucky Charm. A extended arm claw drops into her hands, and she walks toward the akuma victim, trying to figure out where her akuma is. “Her locket. Around her neck.” Chat appeared beside her, pointing at the metal oval wrapped around the girl's neck. She nods, reaching through the metal to grasp at it and yank it away. The Photographer shouts and tries to wiggle away, but she is pinned down in too many places to stop them. The chain breaks and the locket flies toward them. Ladybug catches it in deft fingers and throws it to the ground. Her foot grinds down on it. Hard. The akuma flutters free, and she cleanses it like normal. Now, all she can do is pray.

 

With a toss in the air, the claw explodes into a burst of Ladybugs and light, wrapping around everything in the vicinity and returning it to the way it was. The metal disappears and then reappears where it had been before. The people around them were watching in awe as the sun returns again, but Ladybug squeezes her eyes closed, hoping with all her might that it would fix the one thing she really needed it too.

 

Her eyes opened when Chat Noir grasped her arm tight, his Miraculous beeping in warning. She nods at him, trying to communicate with her eyes that she would be okay, even though they both knew she wouldn’t be. He jumped off, vaulting off his extended baton and into the daylight.

 

Terrified, she flicked her eyes to the other side of the platform. There were still a few people standing around the man, the victim of the akuma standing among them with tears on her face. Ladybug slowly walked forward, her heart pounding and her head starting to spin. She saw that the man was still on the ground, and that he had been flipped over, but she couldn’t see his face yet. The crowd parted for her as she approached, watching her every move. Her heart dropped.

 

His eyes were closed, a peaceful expression on his face. His head and neck had been reconnected to the rest of his body, although a light line of a scar could still be seen. But he wasn’t breathing. His heart wasn’t beating. He was pale as a ghost and there was no doubt in any of their minds that he was dead. The cleanse hadn’t fixed it. Mr. Dupree was dead. And she had still killed him.

 

“How did he die?” A woman to her left asked. Her mind running a mile a minute, she just shook her head. They didn’t have the memories of what had happened while they were under control, no one had seen what she’d done. The only thought in her head was that she had to get out of there. Fast.

 

“I have to go. The police will come up and help you down soon.” She tried to keep her voice steady, but her breathing was fast and it made the sentence sound more panicked than she had intended. The people nodded and looked back to the body on the ground. Marinette stared at it for another few moments with wide eyes before she turned and ran. She jumped off the platform and whipped out her yoyo, tossing it out and flying away. Her path was directly home. Directly to her balcony where she could be by herself. To try and process what had happened.

 

As soon as her feet hit the floor, she let her transformation drop and caught Tikki as the kwani popped out and floated down. “Tikki.” She knew her friend was probably exhausted but she needed answers. “I thought the cleanse was supposed to fix everything that the akuma had caused. But that man was still dead. I still killed him. He didn’t come back.” The little red bug stared at her with apologetic eyes, trying to think of what to say.

 

“Marinette, although the cleanse fixes almost everything, life and death are very different. Life and death is finality, and cannot be changed after it occurs. I never thought Hawkmoth would reach a point where his champions would actually cause a loss of human life.” Tears began to well up in her eyes. “After his heart stopped beating, there was nothing anyone could do. Not even Miraculous.”

 

Marinette was crumbling, falling to her knees and leaning back on the railing. Her mind struggled to keep up with what she was being told. All she could think about was that she had killed a man and he was gone forever. She was a murderer. A sob ripped itself from her throat, her hands grabbing at her neck as if to stop herself from choking. “I killed him, Tikki. I killed him. He’s dead and it’s all my fault.”

 

“That’s not true,” the voice came from behind her and she spun around, seeing Chat Noir leaning over the railing of the balcony. She had nearly forgotten that her secret was out and he knew who she was now. So there he was, concern covering his every feature. “You were under her control. It wasn’t really you.”

 

“But it was, Chat,” she was yelling now. “It was my yoyo, it was my hands. I held a gun to his head and my finger pulled the trigger!” Her whole body shook madly and she rose on shaky legs to face him.

 

He looked like he was about to break down. “Marinette…” The name sounded foreign now, even though she had heard him say it more than a few times. “You have to calm down. You’re not thinking rationally.”

 

“Oh yeah, that’s rich coming from you of all people.” A part of her brain told her that she was taking out her anger on him and she needed to stop, but she couldn’t bring herself to. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier she was controlling people? Why didn’t you tell me as soon as I got there to keep my distance?!”

 

Chat had jumped over the railing and now stood, visibly struggling to find his words. “I was going to tell you but then the assistants brought up that man and-”

 

“It should have been the very first thing you said to me!” Her voice was straining from her yelling so loud, but the words felt like acid on her tongue and she had to get them out. “Now, that man is dead. My identity was revealed to hundreds of people and by now it’s all over the internet too. I failed. It’s over.”

 

Tikki fluttered up into her vision. “Marinette, this isn’t the end of the world. You can come back from this!”

 

“No!” Her voice cracked and tears clouded her vision, taking in a shaky breath. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at the ground. “You can’t just take back being a murderer.”

 

There was silence then, Chat staring at her with sad eyes and Tikki trying to come up with something to say as Marinette just cried. And she cried hard.

 

“Hey!” Chat suddenly yelled, crossing the balcony in one step and leaning over the edge. “Get out of here.” He growled and Marinette looked down. Across the street, there was a man with a camera that was directed right at her balcony, right at where they were talking. He snapped a few more pictures and then ran off, turning around a corner so they couldn’t see him anymore.

 

She collapsed to the ground again, burying her face in her hands. Chat turned to face her and then crouched down, falling onto the floor to sit. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she flinched at the touch, but he left his arm there. She didn’t try to move it. They were silent for another long stretch, the only sound being Marinette’s sobs as they continued to wrack her entire body.

 

“I can’t do this anymore.” She spoke suddenly and it caught him off guard. He looked at her, terrified.

 

“Can't do what anymore?” His voice was soft and careful, as if he was afraid that if he said the wrong thing he would break her.

 

She rubbed her face roughly, looking up at him. “I can't be Ladybug anymore. I can't do it.”

 

His eyes grew wide and he started to shake his head. “It… That’s...” He babbled, trying to process what she was telling him. “You need to think this through. You can't make decisions like this.”

 

“There's nothing to think about.” Her hands reached up to her ears.

 

“Marinette, wait!” Tikki appeared again, stopping her short. “You’re making a mistake.”

 

She cocked her head to the side, looking at Tikki with tears streaming down her face. “I'm sorry, Tikki. I failed you.” Tikki’s mouth opened, more pleading for her to reconsider on it’s way, but she had already made up her mind. Marinette took off the earrings and the kwani disappeared. 

 

“Marinette, are you sure about this?” Chat sounded so beyond concerned that it hurt her. It made her heart strain against her chest as it tightened. She just nodded, removing the brown container from her purse and putting the earrings inside. She shut it with a snap and held it out to Chat. “What?” He asked, looking between the case and her eyes.

 

“Take it.” She whispered, placing it in his hands. “I don't want it anymore.”

 

“What about Ladybug? What about us?” The look on his face could've been deadly if she wasn't careful. The look on his face was like he was watching his heart be ripped out right in front of him. But hers was already broken and it felt beyond repair.

 

Marinette clenched her hands into fists and tucked into herself, trying to get as small as possible. “Ladybug doesn't exist anymore.” Maybe, if she believed it hard enough it would be true.

 

Chat stood, turning away from her with the box gripped tight in his hand. “I understand,” was all he said as he stepped closer to the balcony railing. “I guess this is goodbye then.” When she didn't reply, he looked back at the broken girl, curled into a ball on the floor. “Goodbye, Marinette.”

 

When she finally found the strength to look up, he was gone. Shivering and crying on top of her home, she realized just how alone she truly was and it hit her like a bus.

  
Everything in her life as she knew it had burned to ashes and she was the one holding the lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything you thought it was going to be? i really want to know what you guys think! please comment your reaction and if there is anything else you want me to know <3


	6. Breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I went through a bit of a rough patch, but here it is!

“It was an accident,” Marinette’s yoyo slowed to a halt at her side. “It wasn’t my fault.” She tried, her confidence being washed away by the rain.

 

The Shadow moved quickly and she lost track of it, her eyes moving at a breakneck speed to find it again. “What a lie,” the voice laughed from above them, and the pair jumped away from each other again, facing back to where they had been as the Shadow floated down to that spot. “You got to the scene, you revealed your identity, and that man ended up dead. Your famous healing power did nothing to help him. The mortician couldn’t identify a cause of death, the only sign being a healing scar of a line across his throat.” Marinette was slowly collapsing in on herself as the Shadow continued to get closer and closer. She could almost hear the grin on it’s face as the words tore at her like claws. “And despite all of that, you refused to give a statement. You disappeared into that bakery! And you still say you have nothing to admit?” The voice was now yelling so close to her face that she could feel the hot air, her eyes squeezing shut as she bowed her head.

 

Chat, seeming to snap himself out a daze, extended his baton in front of him. “That’s enough!”

 

The Shadow growled and then disappeared. Marinette’s eyes flew open and she opened her mouth to try and warn him, but she just watched as his feet were knocked out from under him and he hit the floor hard.

 

“It’s over when I say it’s over,” the akuma spat, giving Chat a swift kick in the stomach as a final measure. He groaned, curling in to wrap his arms around his middle as she began to laugh. This time, her physical form held together as she made her way back over to Ladybug.

 

Marinette couldn’t find it in herself to notice the sudden proximity of the enemy. She was too focused on a feeling beginning to churn deep in her stomach. It was a hot feeling, one she hadn’t felt before. Despite that, she knew exactly what it was. Her eyes never left Chat as the akuma closed in, attempting to get off the ground despite the agonized look on his face. His eyes met hers with a fear in his eyes she had never seen, and the heat in her doubled. With her fists clenching tight at her sides, she felt a white hot fire licking at her limbs and a demon in her ear. Everything in her was starting to vibrate and swell and she felt about ready to explode, a whirlwind building up inside. The Shadow began to flick back out as it leaned down to met her face to face again. Marinette could barely register Chat trying to say something but between the wind and the rush of blood in her ears, she couldn’t hear it. She had reached her boiling point and the crack was coming, and she let it happen. Then came the crystallizing moment, the calm before the storm. Where everything fell into place.

 

With a calm step forward, Marinette felt her face twist into a sickening smile. “You know, I can see why they fired you,” the Shadow’s form returned like a flame as her face scrunched up in anger. “After all this time, you can’t even see what’s obvious. When you should give up.” The Shadow lunged toward her with a yell and Marinette saw red.

  
Hot, blinding red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The finale will be out very soon. Then you can join me on the next adventure I have planned that is full of pain and tears.
> 
> Comments make my day, js : )


	7. Rain

When Marinette came to, she was kicking and screaming in Chat’s arms and Victoria, no longer akumatized, was laying on the ground crying. She had her hands held tight around her nose and mouth, some blood seeping out from between her fingers. The notebook was ripped in half, thrown off to the side and laying in a puddle of rain.

 

She fell limp like a doll, Chat managing to keep his hold on her but using the momentum to send them both to their knees. He was murmuring in her ear, his nose pressed against her hair. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe, Marinette. It’s okay.” Her heart was pumping like crazy and her muscles ached as though she had just run a marathon. She was exhausted and disoriented, her brain struggling to process what had happened.

 

“Chat?” Her blurry vision began to clear and the gears in her mind slowly began to turn again. “What did I do?” She felt his face lower to press against her neck, his wet hair rubbing her face as he took deep breaths against her. He started to talk, his mouth pressed against her shoulder and muffling the sound so badly she couldn’t hear him. “Chat, I can’t hear you.”

 

His head slowly raised and he rested his chin on her shoulder, keeping his arms firmly around her as if he was afraid she was about to disappear. The sigh that came from his lips was so pained that it made her breath catch in her throat. “You stopped the akuma,” he whispered, his hands beginning to run along her arms, slick from the rain. “You stopped it and that’s all that matters.” Her eyes darted around the scene as her breathing began to finally slow down.

 

Victoria had shifted onto her back, the blood from her broken nose pouring out from behind her hands. Her notebook had been torn in clean halves, spine and all. And then she saw something else. A little crumpled up pile next to the soaked paper. Part white and part black, black liquid ran from it and washed away with the rain. The little butterfly had been crushed to a pulp, almost beyond recognition. She stood, pushing Chat away with a bit of difficulty as she stepped toward it. Kneeling and scooping up the little bug with cupped hands, she brought the bleeding thing closer to her face. The black liquid stained her hands, the butterfly almost completely white now as the evil floated away with the rain.

 

“I did this.”

 

Adrien lowered his head. “It’s okay.” Her eyes left the mangled butterfly and met his sad gaze. “Everything is fine.”

 

She knew everything wasn’t fine, and she knew that he knew it too. She had lost control over herself. If he hadn’t been there to stop her, who knows what she might have done to that girl. That  _ completely innocent _ girl who had been a victim to Hawkmoth’s manipulation. And Ladybug hurt her. Marinette hurt her.

 

Her body threatened to collapse again, her arms falling to her sides and letting the dead butterfly fall to the ground with a splash. In a flash, Chat’s arms were around her again, holding her steady as her broken world cracked further. “I think you should get out of here,” he said softly, and she felt her body tense. Did he want her gone? Was that the last straw for him? Was he finally disgusted with her now? Was this the end?

 

She stepped away, her arms holding tight around herself as she stared at the ground. “Okay. I’ll go.” He placed a clawed finger beneath her chin, pushing her chin up to face him. His expression was one of confusion, one that showed how conflicted he was feeling. He let his hand drop, giving her a swift nod before turning his attention to the girl laying on the ground.

 

While Marinette fell apart from the inside out, the Ladybug suit pulled out the yoyo and sent her flying away.

 

* * *

 

 

For the second time today, Marinette was lost. Physically lost, that is. If you counted emotionally lost, then this was probably the 100th time today that she was lost. Did it count as being lost when your goal was to get lost?

 

All that mattered was that she was back to being Marinette on a roof she didn’t recognize, watching the Eiffel Tower shine through the rain that pounded endlessly against her. Tikki was asleep in her purse, attempting to hide from the cold and wind. She had made little to no attempt to talk to Marinette before retreating, and for that she was grateful. The last thing she wanted right now was that heartache. Tikki had left her alone to the storm, inside and out.

 

For the second time today, Marinette saw a black silhouette out of the corner of her eye approach. And she once again hoped it was just her imagination, even when she knew it wasn’t. He was coming to tell her how disappointed he was, how she disgusted him. He was coming to tell her that she was a monster who didn’t deserve him. He was coming to tell her the truth.

 

He sat down beside her, his legs swinging down off the ledge as he leaned back on his hands. He didn’t say a word, just swung his legs and looked off into the night. Looked specifically not at her. So she sat and waited.

 

After what had to be ten minutes of silence, she began to get restless. She stared at him intently, watching as he quite obviously ignored the fact and continued to pretend she wasn’t there. She was dreading him telling her what he was thinking, but the waiting was just as bad, if not worse. So she took a leap of faith.

 

“Are you going to say anything?” He never looked at her, just looked up for a moment as if considering it, and then shaking his head. She tried to follow his gaze, see what was keeping his attention. As far as she could tell, he was just looking at nothing. “Why?”

 

“Wasn’t part of the agreement.”

 

She leaned forward, trying to get him to look at her, even just out of the corner of his eye. “What agreement? What are you talking about?”

 

He finally turned his head toward her, spending a few seconds looking over her face, just as he had earlier that same day. Looking for answers. “Today. We made an agreement.” She moved to speak again but he raised his hand to stop her. “You told me not to leave you alone. You asked me to be by your side.” He looked back out into the rain, seeming perfectly content. “So that’s what I’m doing.”

 

He leaned his head to the side as her mouth opened and closed without a sound.

 

The sound of rain and the cars below them filled the silence as Marinette struggled to find words to describe what she was thinking. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he should hate her and never want to see her again. She wanted him to say she was a monster and reaffirm everything disgusting thing she thought that she was. But he didn’t. And some part of her knew he never would. Because he really didn’t think she was. He knew every single part of every story and he still wanted to be by her side.

 

She almost knocked them both off the roof with the force of her throwing herself at him, her arms locking in a vice grip around his neck and her face buried in his shoulder. He used one hand to keep them steady and the other to grab a hold of her. His heart was beating like she had scared him but she couldn’t care. She just cried.

 

As Adrien found a way to pull them both away from the edge of the roof and find an easier way to hug her back, she cried. As he attempted to calm her down, to make her feel better, she cried. Eventually, he just let her cry, holding her just as tightly as she was holding him and rubbing her back in small circles. He waited for her. He never left.

 

When the tears finally gave up and disappeared, her chest heaved in an attempt to catch her breath. He held tight, even as her breathing returned to normal and her grip loosened slightly. She removed her face from its hiding place, resting her chin on her arm and moving her hand to grip the back of his neck. They sat like that for a long time. Long enough for the rain to stop falling, and the stars to reappear. Long enough for them to begin to shiver from being wet out in the wind but not enough for them to move. Long enough for Marinette to begin to heal.

 

“Adrien,” she said finally, even though calling him Adrien while he was Chat seemed so wrong, “your grip is starting to hurt me.” They released each other slowly, each finding their own position on the gravelly roof and looking at the other.

 

He started to smile a bit, raising a clawed finger to point to her arm. “Sorry about that,” he motioned to an imprint of the bell around his neck on the inside of her arm. She lifted her arm and studied it with her fingers for a moment, before breaking out into a smile.

 

“Looks like one  _ bell _ of a problem.” She looked up at him as he just gaped at her in shock. And then he laughed. He laughed like it was the best joke anyone had ever told. And she laughed too. She wrapped her arms tight around herself and she laughed out loud into the night. She laughed until her stomach hurt and then she kept laughing. She laughed until she couldn’t breathe and then she grabbed tight to his shoulder, grounding herself as she tried to catch her breath. 

 

When she looked up at him again, she could barely see him in the dark. The bite of the cold wind at her wet skin had really begun to be painful and she felt herself shivering uncontrollably. He must of noticed it too, because he stood and reached for her hand. “I think it’s time to get you home, princess.” She took it slowly and stood on shaky legs, keeping hold of his arms to stay steady. “Alright, hop on.” He turned and knelt down, his arms out. She hesitated for a moment before jumping up to wrap her legs around him, holding tight as he stood and began to move.

 

When they reached her balcony, she felt the fear creep back in. The anxiety of facing her parents after the events of the day. Almost as if he knew what she was thinking, he held her tight. “You can do this.” And he really knew that she could. SHE knew that she could. She just had to do it. And he would be there to support her.

 

She squeezed him tight one last time before breaking away and heading for her trapdoor. She was almost afraid to look back, like she wasn’t strong enough to turn away again, but she did. Her voice was small as she asked, “Will I see you tomorrow?”

 

He pressed a hand to his chest and bowed low, raising his head to smile at her. “Of course, my Lady.” She felt herself smile and she nodded, giving him one last look before she opened the door and slowly let herself down.

 

* * *

 

The next morning when she stepped outside the bakery with a bag in her hand, Adrien was leaning against the light post waiting for her. When he saw her, he smiled wide. Wider than she had ever seen Adrien smile. It was a Chat Noir grin and she could see that now. She could see all of it now.

 

“Hello,” she said softly, her face heating up.

 

“Good morning,” he stood, taking a step toward her. He was still so much taller than her that she had to look up to see him when he was this close. With a swift motion, he signalled her to walk so he could follow. She took a deep breath and turned toward the school, taking each slow step one at a time. Adrien came up beside her and she felt his hand grasp hers, looking up at him in surprise. He just looked ahead, a soft smile on his face. She admired it for a second before focusing ahead again.

 

Today, there were no reporters. Nobody waiting to ambush her as she made her way into the school. She went seemingly unnoticed, people only sparing a glance before returning to what they had been doing. It was as if everyone had forgotten she was Ladybug overnight, that no one cared anymore. Adrien kept a tight grip on her hand, keeping her moving as she stared at the world around her. The world that seemed completely different to what it had been yesterday. He lead her around the back of the stairs and to the classroom, holding the door open for her.

 

When they entered, Monsieur Gagnon raised his head and simply gave them a nod, returning to the papers at his desk. Marinette turned to the class and saw it mostly empty, except for Alya and Nino and a few other kids in the back. They turned to the door as it opened, and she watched carefully as Alya met her eyes, trailed them down to where Adrien still gripped her hand tight, and then back up. She held the hand tighter, the stare Alya directed at her making her heart pound. And then, she saw something she never thought she’d see again.

 

Alya smirked at her, the corner of her lip barely pulling up to show she had taken notice. To Marinette, that look was the world. It was a small grain of hope that maybe she still cared, maybe there was still something to be salvaged. Maybe they had both just needed time.

 

Adrien led her to their desk and sat down, pulling a few papers from the day previous onto his desk and beginning to write. She just felt herself relax.

 

She was there, sitting next to her partner in crime, her best friend possibly giving her a chance, and her parents were just happy she was safe. She was nowhere near okay, but suddenly it all seemed like maybe she could be someday. The calendar changed from Day 43 to Day 0.

  
The first day where she could finally start to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all she wrote folks. let me know what you thought and if you liked it. i'm sorry it took so long to get out, when i graduated high school i ended up getting scheduled to work almost every night and i pretty much ran out of free time. but it's here now, and that's what matters.
> 
> i have another story planned, but i don't know if and when. feel free to check back for the next ticket to the pain train. thanks for reading : )


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